Last night, at the peak of the latest hour, my father told me, "I am very proud of you. You are doing a great job." To hear something of that sort in relation to literature, I can truly say that it made me incredibly happy and excited. I am proud of myself too.
My heart dropped.
I was disheartened. My only chance at trying something new was snatched away from me in an instant. I thought: Will there be a new chance for me someday?
Life as it is — I got a book package from Inkitt. It was sent last October 2016, arrived in my local post office last November, and only sent me a notice from the office a week ago. On January. I shake my head, wondering to myself how the heck (and why?) did it stay there that long. That surely has never really happened before.
Life as it is — I am bombarded by books, a lot of them. I purchased Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand after watching the film starring Jack O'Connell, which captured my heart and had me in tears. That film really touched my heart and ignited in me a sort of inspiration and light.
Just as I was about to start the novel, though, my Social Science professor assigned my class 9 books to read, most of which were about economics, politics, and development. There goes away my time from my new book that I was excited to read.
Life as it is — I received an e-mail last night. A beta-reading inquiry from a kind and inspirational author who taught me what it is to fail and still succeed. I was happy to hear from that author, and I ran to my father to tell him, to which he said: I am very proud of you. You are doing a great job.
Am I really, though? And so I want to say that I am infinitely thankful.
I was curled up in bed, wrapped in a tight blanket, when I learned that I have been withdrawn from the contest. My heart sank. But I realized the opportunities that I have with reading, and I am thankful for the books. The opportunities. You can say that books are just books, but to me they are the world. I am a lifelong reader, a girl who has devoured books since she first learned how to read. I want to begin by saying that reading was an insecurity before, and it always has been when people began to tell me that it would bring me to nowhere.
I want to begin by saying that beauty lies in literature. Without books, I wouldn't have gotten to know more about this world I live in. I wouldn't have lived a thousand lives and still get hurt... and still live. This is a thought off of a small, tiny whim, but gosh —
if you are a reader, a writer, a poet, a blogger, an artist, a singer, a comedian, an actor — here is to the words we say, the words we share. Thank you for transforming this world with the weapons of your words.
Deadly and mighty but ultimately beautiful.
So father, I must say: I may not have gotten through with that competition, but I guess I am proud of myself, too. I have books with me and I get to read and read and read.
I can transform this world, too.